Going to church alone as a Christian woman can be intimidating. It’s hard to go alone into a new church without a spouse. Especially since the room will be filled with couples sitting together. The first part is tough. Walking in and finding a seat. In many churches, people automatically put a seat between each people group, whether it’s a family or couple. So that means you will invariably have an empty seat on either side of you. Finding someone to sit with can make it easier to go to church when you’re single or married but alone.
Finding the right place to sit
Finding the right place to sit can be a challenge. Here are some ideas to consider so you will be at ease during the service.
- See who sits alone at church and sit beside them. If you notice during service, then afterwards go and meet them. Then try to find them to sit together next Sunday.
- Look to see where a bunch of women sitting together. It could be the woman’s single section.
- Ask your pastor or leader of women’s ministry where a good place to sit or if there is someone they can introduce you to who comes to church alone.
- Look around you and take notice of a grouping of people you may not naturally feel comfortable in, like youth, men who come in late, or children’s classes that will leave after worship. This happened to me. I realized I was in the single men section. If you’re single, you may like this, but for me, I was uncomfortable. I decided that the following Sunday, I needed to sit elsewhere.
- Invite a friend to come with you to church. If you pick them up, you’ll get there at the same time, and there will be no waiting for them near the parking lot or out front.
- If paying attention during service seems difficult, sitting close to the front helps limit distractions.
- Look up at the ceiling for the best sound and see where the speakers are pointed. Sound systems vary from church to church, but if the speakers are pointing toward you, you’ll get the best sound experience.
Meeting people
Once you find a place to sit that you enjoy. Each week, sit in the same spot. You will find that people tend to sit in the same place each week. They anticipate seeing the same people around them each week. This is especially true in large churches. While trying out a new church to see if you like the service, also look around and see if there is a group of people or people you would feel comfortable sitting beside each week.
Another way to meet other churchgoers is by volunteering. There are so many areas/ways to serve. The obvious is children’s Sunday school and nursery, but there are many other ways. Greeter, usher, communion prep, coffee station, library, prayer team, worship and music. These are all good ways to meet others at church, and the other added benefit is that when you are scheduled to volunteer, it makes it easier to commit to church.
Being Consistent
One of the hardest things about going alone is it’s too easy to make an excuse not to go. But being consistent brings a rhythm to your life. It is weekly encouragement and teaching from God’s word. Communion. And share spiritual time with people in your community. This is so needed today as we feel further away from those who live close to us.
In my 20s, I had the hardest time getting to church. I had a 6-year-old at the time. My heart desired to take my child to church so he could grow up in the church, but with his daddy not going, it was much easier to stay home at times. I knew this had to stop. I wasn’t meeting my desire, goal, or expectation to prioritize church. So, to keep consistency, I helped in a Sunday School room. It wasn’t a big job; I didn’t have to learn the lesson; I was just there to hand out crayons, Sunday school papers, and a backup for the teacher, so they weren’t alone in the classroom. This worked. The teacher depended upon me, and we went to church each week.
Church can be challenging to navigate alone, but it’s worth it. First, we have to go through a period of lackluster friendships until they deepen. But now my children and I have people who care and pray for us, and we have a community where we can learn more about God.
I encourage you to take that first step. It’s even okay if you arrive a little late and don’t know what to wear; just take that first step and go. Find a seat, see if it’s the church for you, and look where you’d like to sit next week. Then, commit to show up again. It gets easier. I promise.
More from My Heart’s Cry:
New to My Heart’s Cry Start Here
Going to Church Alone
Asking a Friend for Prayer
Updated: 1/12/26
What a great blog, Kim! Many times in our marriage, I’ve had to be the one sitting alone in church while my husband was at work on weekends. But it’s not the same as going every week alone. You have reminded me of several women in our church who never have anyone else to join them. I’m going to start keeping my eye out for them, at least to speak with them for a moment, even if I wind up not sitting beside them during worship. Great advice, too, from you about getting involved. During the first summer at church after we moved here, I volunteered at VBS and made lifelong friends through that experience. I hope your readers are blessed by this!
It’s true women at one time or another end up sitting alone in church. I love that your response is to keep an eye out for singles sitting alone. I pray that this will be the response of many marrieds who read this.
Thanks for sharing how volunteering at church makes and keeps friendships. When these friendships are made, it’s less likely a woman would have to sit alone.
Having disability issues adds to the seating dilemma. Because I have mobility and balance problems, I need to sit on the end so I don’t have to climb over people if I need to get up in the middle of a service, which I often do. People have been understanding, for the most part.
You bring up another seating issue we need to think about. It’s so easy to take the end of the row seat. Saving a seat for someone with mobility issues is gracious and kind.