Our attitude towards family and work affects how much work we can accomplish and the quality of our work. We could assume it’s laziness, but the root cause often comes from other negative feelings that have built up. Feelings like being underappreciated, shame, or boredom cause homemakers to struggle during their work week. But to find joy in the Home, we must learn to work through our negative emotions when they arise. Contentment in being a homemaker is our desire.
When I think of a homemaker’s workday, I think of a glass water pitcher. It must hold enough water to fill other vessels; likewise, what I do as a homemaker flows into my family, who drink the cup of my labor. Hard water deposits can build up on a glass pitcher, and so can hard feelings deposits on the homemaker’s work day. Sometimes, we’ve let hard feelings cloud our work, while making our house a home. Our negative attitudes of shame, dissatisfaction, anger, malice, boredom, or feeling unappreciated have affected our work.
What attitudes cause you to feel agitated or cause you to put off work until it’s become a giant pile and unnecessarily difficult? I urge you to assess your attitude towards your workday. Soaking in God’s Word and renewing your mind toward your workday is the solution to clearing up one’s attitude toward work. Much like soaking a pitcher with hard water residue in vinegar, and water removes the cloudiness. Let’s look at a few negative attitudes that could cloud your workday.
Shame
Do you feel ashamed of your home and how clean it is? You may feel it’s not perfect like your friends or neighbors. Are you always trying to measure up by cleaning in a frenzy? Meet shame. Shame is a painful emotion caused by guilt or shortcomings. Shame should not be the focus of our actions. The right perspective is to clean our homes to express our love for God and our family. The Bible tells us to work with enthusiasm. The Lord will reward us, so don’t seek other people’s approval. Do your best to provide a safe, clean environment for your household.
Do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do. Ephesians 6:6-8
Dissatisfaction
Are you growing tired of being a homemaker or cleaning the place you live in? If your answer to either of these questions is yes, then meet dissatisfaction. It is easy to get dissatisfied with our career, which can happen in any profession. Dissatisfaction clouds our reasons for even doing our tasks. When you feel this way, review why you decided to be a homemaker, then reevaluate and see if adjustments need to be made. Another way homemakers can be discontent is with their place. Ask God to help you wait until the right time to move or make changes. Decide to be thankful for what you have.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts. James 1:12,14 5:7,8 ESV
Anger and Malice
Do you have a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility when you have to do housework? Is it hard to do something for a member of your family because they treated you disrespectfully or meanly? Meet Anger. When anger is not dealt with, it grows into malice when there is a desire to cause pain, injury, or distress to another. I connected Anger and Malice because our anger can cause us to react with malice.
When you’re feeling angry, take it to God and ask for healing. This will help you deal with the pain that’s causing you to feel annoyed, upset, and hostile. Confess your own sins and forgive those who have sinned against you. Focus on what you can control in your life and do your best to handle the things that are outside of your control.
Waiting is another way we can become angry because it takes patience and can be a breeding ground for anger and malice if we don’t handle it correctly. Often, God is causing you to wait and wants you to trust His timing. Another person that causes us to wait is our husbands, so we will learn about this at length in the chapter on Loving Our Husbands.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
Being a virtuous and capable wife is a godly homemaker’s goal. But when we have such negative feelings towards our husband, children, and home, how can we bring good and not harm?
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 1 Peter 3:8
Boredom
Do you lack interest in what you do each week and are weary by its repetition? We struggle through another meal to cook or bathroom to clean. Meet Boredom. It can tempt you at any stage of life. It’s hard when we do the same thing repeatedly. We need to drum up some interest. Find out what other women do to make that task fun or interesting. One of the things I do when I have a set of tasks I think is dull is to put on a podcast or some music. My hands can be busy doing what they must, but my mind can be entertained. It is my mind that is bored, not my hands. So get your mind occupied. Another way to make tasks more bearable is to pour yourself a tasty drink to enjoy while you complete your job.
When we are bored with our work, we aren’t contemplating what is good or lovely. Let Philippians 4:8 change how you view your day. This can even be a prayer: Lord remind me of what is pure, lovely, praiseworthy in what I’m doing today.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8
Lack of Appreciation
Have you ever spent an hour in the kitchen making dinner only to have your family scarf their dinner down in two minutes and ask to be dismissed? They had no idea that while they were playing, you had been working in the kitchen. Meet Lack of appreciation. Families are sometimes ungrateful and fail to recognize the work it takes to make a meal, do the laundry, and get the children to their classes and activities. A lack of appreciation is frustrating. Where or when do you feel most unappreciated by your family?
This is a good place where Dad can model thankfulness. Teach children to go beyond the rote thank you to a specific compliment. For example, I like the fluffy mashed potatoes, which were so yummy. Build thankfulness there into meal time.
Many times it just takes patience while the children are learning to be thankful. So don’t grow weary while it’s still time to train children.
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
May your home be blessed and may your service to your husband and/or family as you clean be filled with love.
Updated 1/12/26