In the Bible, trials are likened to a refining process. It’s hard to see our friend or loved one going through times of trouble, trial, and grief, especially when so many times it’s not of their making. Hardship is being imposed upon them. Many times, it’s a loss. For example, a friend loses a husband, their health, a job, or a house, which inflicts so much pain, adjustments, and pressure. Our friend is feeling as if the temperature has been turned up in life, and they can no longer ignore how uncomfortable they feel.
The Refining Process
Raw gold is put into a crucible, then into the furnace to be melted. With a melting point of 1,064°C (1,947°F), gold requires extreme temperatures to liquify. The melting point of gold is higher than most other metals, making refining a challenging process. Once melted the impurities separate from the molten gold and rise to the surface as a slag to be skimmed off. To achieve the highest purity gold, the refining process is often repeated several times.
These trials will show that your faith
is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests
and purifies gold—though your faith is
far more precious than mere gold.
So when your faith remains strong through
many trials, it will bring you much praise and
glory and honor on the day when
Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
I Peter 1:7 NLT

What to Remember Concerning Our Friends in Crisis
Friends are invaluable, and it can be challenging to know how to respond when they face hardship after hardship. A simple text with a prayer emoji and a prayer might feel inadequate in the face of their deep pain. Yet, connecting meaningfully is crucial.
First, it’s important to recognize that suffering and challenges are intrinsic to the human experience. Very few of us journey through life untouched by setbacks, loss, or illness. Enduring such trials often leads to profound transformation. For those committed to following Jesus, life transcends the pursuit of pleasure, revealing deeper purpose in our struggles.
Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh,
arm yourselves also with the same mind,
for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,
that he no longer should live the rest of his time
in the flesh for the lusts of men,
but for the will of God.
I Peter 4:1,2 NKJV
Next, we must remember that they need our compassion, not our criticism. In times of struggle, people often appear bruised and weary. So, what can we do when our dear friend is facing such tough times? It is easy to shy away from them, but the Bible reminds us that a friend sticks closer than a brother. The challenge many of us face, myself included, is just how close do we stay to our friend burdened by worry? Despite feeling overwhelmed, the question remains: how much can we help when everything seems to be going wrong for them?
Ways to Encourage a Friend Enduring Trials.
- You could give them a cup of cold water and a refreshing word
- You could hug them-a comforting touch and reassurance that they are not alone.
- You could protect them-insulate them from the insults of others.
- You could give them a hand-lighten their load
- You could pray for them-seek wisdom on their behalf.

Lastly, remember that God knows what your friend is going through. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.“(Psalm 34:18 ESV) There is no detail that God is not aware of. “You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.” (Ps. 56:8MSG)
It is good to stay in the supportive role in our friend’s lives. However, when we venture into the savior role, we get into trouble. We need to remember that we cannot solve their problems for them. We cannot live their life for them. Your friend may be totally blind to their next step, but it is here in the refining fire that the impurities surface and can be skimmed off. Can it be hard to see our friend go through such a hard time? Yes, absolutely. It’s hard not to try to fix everything. But we must use wisdom as, well as love.
Let’s pray: Dear Jesus, my friend is going through such a hard time. I feel so bad. I love her so and it hurts me to see her in pain. Please draw close to her, meet her needs and bring the right solutions in this crisis. I pray for her faith in You to be strengthened as she experiences You in her darkest hours. Show me what I can do to give her a cup of cold water and provide refreshment. Show me what my role is as her friend in her situation. In Jesus name, amen.
Personal Refining Process
Maybe you are going through what feels like the refiner’s fire. God sees you. He loves you even though it may seem that everyone has abandoned you at times. I have been there, and it hurts. One day, the trial will end. You will shine like pure gold and be strengthened. He will establish you once more. How do I know? These Bible verses tell me so.
And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold. Job 23:10
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,
who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ,
will himself restore, confirm, strengthen,
and establish you.
I Peter 5:10 ESV
Whether it’s a friend or you going through a refiner’s fine, we have hope because our faith is becoming pure and strong.
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