Overcoming Regrets: A Spiritual Guide to Self-Forgiveness

Regrets are like open wounds. They hurt anytime they get bumped into or scratched.

I had an area of my life that was causing me such anxiety and even tears and depression. For months and months, I prayed about my pain. I felt like it was getting better, but then a circumstance would come up, or someone would say something, not knowing my deep pain. I would be hurt all over again, much like if someone were to bump into or scratch open the slowly healing wound.

When we carry unforgiven regrets, it’s like having an open wound. Just as physical wounds are susceptible to dirt and objects that can cause irritation and infection, emotional wounds can be aggravated by circumstances and words. The best way to treat an open wound is to clean it, put a salve on it, and cover it. Similarly, we need to take steps to heal our emotional wounds caused by regrets.

Identify the Wound

First, we need to identify the wound. We can ask the Holy Spirit to give us a magnifying glass to see the details of the wound and what is causing us such anxiety and pain. The Holy Spirit is our guide in this healing journey.

Sometimes, you must go to the doctor to stitch up your physical wound. So, for my emotional wound, I went to a Christian counselor. I told him all the things I had done to try to heal. He remarked that I had already done well but told me to ask the Holy Spirit what was left. After our meeting, I grabbed my journal and headed to a quiet place to pray.

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

That day, I wrote my prayer and can share with you on how the Holy Spirit led me through the steps of healing this long-opened wound.

At the direction of my Christian Counselor, I began my prayer by writing, “Holy Spirit, What am I missing?” I heard one word very clearly: Regrets!

Regrets.

I agreed. Yes, I have lots of regrets about this relationship.

The Holy Spirit reminded me that I’ve never really forgiven myself, so I still have an open wound.

I, of course, agreed with His observation. So I asked, “How do I handle my regrets?”

Let go

First, let go of each regret.

So, I listed out my regrets. I listed the overarching or main regrets and the little regrets that went along. When you go through these steps, speaking it out, writing it down, or doing both may be helpful. I found it helpful to write it down because this process has several steps. When you have a list, like I did, you can easily remember each regret and go through each healing step. You can permanently delete the note, or if it’s on paper, rip it up or burn it when finished.

Next, I gave each regret to God in prayer.

I said, “Now I give you my regrets concerning this relationship, God.”

Casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7

Holy Spirit led me further. He said I will heal your wound. I love you, and I feel every one of your regrets.

Sometimes, you won’t stay on the operating table long enough for me to fix the pain that’s hurting you; you rush off to do the next thing. I’m asking you to stay with me in this for a while.

Forgive Yourself

His following words were about forgiving myself. He said, “Let yourself off the hook for each of those things. Don’t excuse it, but let what I did on the cross cover each.”

So I went through my list and said, I forgive myself for_____________ Jesus’ death paid for that.

Peace

When you finish that step, ask yourself, how does that feel? I can tell you I felt a profound sense of relief and peace. Each declaration is like a stitch in a large wound—sewing and healing it. This sense of relief and peace is what you can look forward to as you forgive yourself for each regret.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

Jesus’ way is to cleanse and bind up the wound and allow it time to heal. The confession cleaned it out. The declaration binds and closes it so it can now heal safely. You are on your way to true healing in the area.

Give Thanks

You may feel done, but there’s one more step: thank God for healing you. Giving thanks is a crucial step to Jesus, our savior, and giver of spiritual life.

Since then, I have been so much better. The situation hasn’t changed, but I am no longer getting knocked around and hurt by people’s words or circumstances surrounding this. Month by month, I see this situation more through God’s eyes instead of a hurting, wounded person. I am so thankful to God for his way of healing my soul. Below is a prayer for healing of anxiety from regrets.

Updated: 1/12/26